Open Question

Question for gay people?

Does your life suck as bad as mine used to? Are you a tool that no 1 would dare be seen with? Do you show up at parties & stand there talking to no 1 because you`re a creeper? Well, I have a solution for you. You need to stop living in past & add some style to your life. Some Limp Bizkit style.

There are a few basic rules for being successful, like myself, & many others, for example, our great leader, Fred Durst. You just need to stick to these simple rules & you`ll be the life of the party in no time;


Rule #1: Do It All for the Nookie

That`s right, losers; If you`re not doing it for that preverbal cookie, then what`s the point in doing it at all? Make sure everything you do is for pussie. Buying soap? Make sure it makes you smell like hardcore. Going to a club? Well **** you, you shouldn`t be in a club anyway. You pick up bitches off street or at sick parties your skater friends throw every weekend. & don`t you worry about heartache—like Fred Durst says, `My heart will ache either way, Hey, what the hell, Watcha want me to say? I won`t lie that I can`t deny I did it all for nookie. ` Also, anal sex don`t cause babies; Remember that.

Rule #2: Break Stuff


The spirit of Durst has been here. Can you feel it? Yelling in your ear for no particular reason? Having 1 of those days? may be someone dissed your **** & you`re pissed? Get fired from your job at Burger King? Your girl cheat on you with someone who acts like an actual human being? There`s a simple answer. Break stuff; That`s right, **** sh1t up. Skin someone`s *** raw. Get your skateboarder friends & throw a table through that Burger King`s window. Punch your gf in mouth. Be the biggest hick you can be. Everyone will respect you, & in no way think you`re a chump; Hey, if it weren`t true, would the almighty Fred Durst have ever lived in the Playboy Mansion? No, he would be you, just sitting in your parent`s basement beating off to cartoon porn. Fag.

Rule #3: Wear Red Cap

You must, & I repeat, MUST HAVE RED CAP TURNED BACKWARDS AT ALL TIMES! If you don`t then what do you expect to compliment your white tee, designer jeans & bling? You must be known as a `red cap,` or someone who wears the same clothing everywhere they go. If someone tries to diss your threads, remember Rule 2. the most common insult you`ll hear is, `Is that same white tee as yesterday bro?` When this is said, break nearest object then scream, `They sell`em in ten packs you ******!` Also remember that using a lot of curse words ******* rocks.

Rule #4: Take`em to Matthew`s Bridge

John Otto once took`em to Matthew`s Bridge; Every year, anyone blessed with Limp Bizkit style must journey to Jacksonville, Florida & jump off Matthew`s Bridge. If you`re truly chosen 1 or know how to swim, you`ll survive the jump & then attend a Jacksonville Jags game with the other survivors; where you`ll enjoy some nachos & all beer you can pay for; Hey, it`s just 1 of perks of partying like Fred Durst.

Rule #5: Cover a Who Song & Make Out with Halle Berry in the Music Video

Pretty ******* self-explanatory if you ask me, bro.

Rule #6: Situations that Rule one & two Can`t Cover

If you run into a situation where breaking **** & getting pussy doesn`t solve your problem, kill yourself; This is a must; When your brain tries to comprehend the fact that violence & sex can`t fix something, it explodes, & you die slowly & terribly, which is not, & I repeat, not cool. Your best option is to run into traffic, or just repeatedly hit your self in the head with nearest blunt object. Trust me, it looks much cooler than convulsing on the ground for an hour.

So you think you can handle it? Getting mass pussy & breaking everything you & your friends own? Can you afford all the tight clothing, actually liking the Jacksonville Jaguars & making out with Halle Berry? Well I hope so, because otherwise you`re just `a sucka like I said, ****** up in the head. ` That`s right, Fred Durst thinks you`re tool if you don`t do this. and you`re not a tool. are you? If you want to be like Freddy D himself you have to get pissed off & break shit, skin somebody`s ass raw, knock someone fuck out.

746 day ago

Answer this Question

    Comment(s) (0)

    Report Abuse