Open Question

23 yo gay Male, without any relationship experience, needs some advice please?

(a small history)(this isnt a repeated questioned, I changed somethings & took some stuff out. ) I`ve known I was gay since 7th grade. I did experiment in junior high & found out that I liked oral & anal sex; Well, after that guy moved I never really tried to find any other `gay` or `bi` guys, so I just started dating girls. Now, i`ve never had sex with a girl, but(!) i`ve always had guy friends, that were in sports or popular, & if you didn`t have a girl friend & were single very long (in my high school) you were targeted as `gay`. So, I did what I shouldn`t have done, I went out with pretty & popular girls so I could continue being part of that click. All through out high school I had 1 guy I would fulled around with, he was popular & had girl friend, we would use each out for sex pretty much. So after high school, i`ve not even tried to get with a guy, so I could keep all my good guy friends; I know that if they don`t want to be my friend after I come out then they arent my friends, but(!) atm that is to hard for me to do. I like masculine gay guys, facial hair, stomach hair, some chest hair, guys that play xbox & listen to rock or indie. I`m not really attracted to feminine guys, no offense, It`s just not my thing.

So I finally found a guy that is couple years younger than me that has dated guys for a few years & has `experience` with other gay guys, & relationships & how they work. He isn`t completely open either. I`ve never had a loving relationship with a guy, it was strictly for sex, & then that was only in junior high & 1 guy in high school; Now, i`ve not really wanted to just go out & get sex, i`ve wanted relationship. So for 5 years i`ve just been lone. This guy is awesome, he is very masculine in looks & things he likes. He doesnt really communicate very much with me tho. I just don`t know what he is thinking. We spend time together when we are visiting college friends from either towns & his family lives where I live; We haven`t done anything yet, except `make out. ` & the night we did, I told him how this was my first `real` guy date, & kinda told him that i`ve not been with but(!) two people. We have so much in common & he always has nice things to say. We have only been talking for may be four weeks. He knows that I have been penetrated, & that I enjoy both being top & a bottom, as well as oral sex, although semen still kinda sickens me; i just don`t know why; the taste I guess, I don`t know. So tonight, we were talking dirty to each other, & I finally asked him if he`d rather top or bottom if he had a choice; Well he`d rather top, which is fine, since i`ve always enjoyed both. Well he asked me which 1 I liked, & I told him that I have enjoyed anal, but(!) enjoyed both. Now, I understand, or think I do, that most relationships partners like both or 1 likes to top & 1 likes to bottom. & I also know that many of the gay guys that have tried to talk to me indiscreetly since I was out of school were mostly bottoms & had, well, they had been around. I told him I have only been with two people, & that is the truth. but(!) if he thinks I like anal sex, do you think he may think I am lying to him? I really think this could be an amazing relationship, the 1 I have been waiting for; We have all the same turn ons, & offs, we like so many of the same things; Our moods complement each others, our tone of voice. lot seems like a dream; Does anyone have any advice they could give me? may be even thru messenger if you wouldnt mind? I am a masculine guy, but(!) I think I may have more emotions than him, & I kinda need some guidance. If my story struck you in anyway, i`d love your help, or advice.

i wanted to add, that any of my friends that came out that were in our click were usually kicked out & the straight guys never really talked with them afterward; In high school, I never played sports but(!) I enjoyed all the other things that most guys like, cars, music, we`d play halo every thurdsay nights & someones house, & bring out tvs, stuff like that. I didnt have squad of female friends, & didnt like to go shopping for clothes or listen to Britney spears, my homo phobic friends kicked them out of the `click` we were in. So, I stayed with the `masculine` guys, kept girl friends, that kinda thing; Kieth, I completely understand, & it has been friends. It is tearing me apart. It keeps me depressed thinking I have to lie to everyone. but(!) i`m not sure if I could handle coming out. I think it would break me atm. i just keep thinking about it, hopefully the more I think about it, the better it will seem.

747 day ago

Answer this Question

    Comment(s) (0)

    Report Abuse