It seems this problem is concurrent, & it is always the same case. I know this problem personally because I too have trouble with it; It is funny that the same stereotypes that are used to typify & generalize the gay community are the same ones we use to identify each other with lol; So how does a guy who is gay, but(!) at the same time does not show any remote characteristics that would otherwise classify under gay stereotype, find another gay guy, who too does not have the characteristics.
The solution is tough because you want to avoid fem guys but(!) seek a relation with someone for lack of better word more `straight male acting`, the problem occurs because the only way to identify a gay guy without even asking is primarily looking for these stereotypes, aka fem qualities. you know which 1 I mean, SO basically the only way to know would be to ASK!
There is really no other way to tell, I know it sucks. but yea I agree you will not find it in gay clubs because that`s were primarily fems are, god I hate using that word it feels so derogative, but(!) it is the only way to describe it; I suggest events that are gay political related, like protests, petitions, or gay chamber of commerce in your area, or basically anywhere & just hope you ask right person;
But I after encountering this question sooooo many times, I realize their are a lot of gay guys like you & me out there who are probably standing next to us on the bus or walk by us & are to afraid to ask each other because they are not sure if the other is gay or not & are afraid to offend. We are a rare breed of gay lol. We are a minority withing minority XD; Good luck to you
Posted 1403 days ago